“Fai con comodo”…

...or "Take your time," I tell my homestay mother. Her reaction is one that I just can't help but smile at: "Madonna mia! Che cultura! What culture, what culture!" Even though she had been making fun of my accent when I speak Italian not but five minutes earlier, Mary appreciates the times when I do use what she has taught me. Although, I have probably taken more away from the idiom "Fai con comodo" than she realizes.

"Fai con comodo" (literal translation "[You,]Do it with comfort") truly is an idiom full of culture. In fact, taking one’s time is the culture. The Italian culture is not one that generally rushes around. Instead, as far as I have observed, the present moment is always first. That is, all that occurs now is what matters; not the past, not the future, but this moment right now. This allows the Italians to love and enjoy their food, family, friends, and all other aspects of their life today, just as they are, just as they may not be tomorrow. Their passion and zeal for life abounds.

This contrasts sharply with the mentality of most Americans. In America, we are constantly preoccupied by our future plans. We are always in a rush to grow up, to move away from our families, to graduate, to immediately obtain a job, to earn money for the future. Will I have enough money for my wedding? Will I be okay if I lose my job? What can I do with the money that I save for retirement? Etcetera.

There is no use for such thoughts. We have no certain control over our futures. Who can say that you will get married? Who can say that you will even get a job? Who can say that you will live long enough to enjoy your retirement funds? No one on Earth.

I am calling for a lifestyle change for myself. Rather, perhaps it is best to approach this slowly, to take my time. In this case, I am calling for a change in my frame of mind, my mentality. As I spend more and more time in Italy, my mind is opening. I will be absorbing this new approach to life: I will take my time. I will live this present moment to its fullest. I will be completely aware that it will soon be the past and that the next second, that which once was the future, will be gone too. It would be a waste to worry about the past and future. The opportunity that is before me—my life—is now.

After reading Michael Shapiro’s interview with Isabel Allende in A Sense of Place, I felt enlightened; someone else, another traveler, had experienced the same thoughts that I have had. Allende describes it in “At Home with the Spirits”:

There is no space between notes. Music is about silence also. Life is about pause. In India, in the cities, everything happens in an intense way and there is no respite: the noise, the crowd, the things that happen, the images, the color, the textures. One pattern on top of another pattern on top of another one. So there’s never a blank space. That was a shock, a wonderful shock, because it made me feel like a fly, totally unimportant, totally…who cares if your daughter died? You think that my daughter didn’t? Who cares if you’re in pain—do you think that we are not in pain? Life is pain. Life is about loss, life is about decadence, and this rotten cow in the middle of the street and the vultures eating the cow, that’s what life is about. And get up, come on, get a life. (125)

By worrying about the past and future, as Americans we restrain ourselves and do not experience intense emotions as they should be felt. Yet intense emotions, the moments of now, deserve time! They are what can unify humans, no matter the individual, the country, or the culture.all feel intense emotions. The high points, the low points, and the level ground should all feel intense. It’s happening now! Feel pain. Feel joy. Feel sorrow. Feel contentment. Feel nervous. Why hold back? No, in fact, do not even worry about the why, just live.

This of course, does not mean that I will throw all my former self into a nifty Italian dumpster. I will still hold onto the experiences that I have learned from, my morals, my aspirations, and my passions. It means that I will live this:

The Colosseum

I exited the overwhelming metro station on one of my first days in Rome, only to be greeted by the sight of the famous Colosseum. It's size and sudden appearance made this famous site all the power inspiring. I am still in awe that its arched architecture of concrete and marble has helped it to remain standing.

Ponza

Although the trip to this Mediterranean island was disorganized and stressful, none of it mattered; they were fleeting moments and the gorgeous natural beauties were a better focus.

Mia Famiglia

My Roman family (Mary, Kristin, Figlio [pictured], Lala, and Cucula) have all made me feel loved and very Roman. Our dinners together are usually the highlight of my day. We take our time during our four course meal. There is nothing I enjoy more than practicing my growing Italian vocabulary, sharing the details of my day, and hearing about everyone else's day.